Something to Remember
by Grazi
Summary: Once and Again – Season 3 – Grace and Mr. Dimitri's Story (Feedback, please)
1. Letter 1

Something to Remember  
  
  
  
Author: Grazi  
  
Summary: Once and Again - Season 3 - Grace and Mr. Dimitri's Story  
  
Note: I was just wondering how it would be if Grace refuses to be resigned to herself and Mr. Dimitri. This is an epistle style story...  
  
Letter 1 - "The Day After"  
  
You must know that I consider unbearable people who demanding resignation in the presence of a hopeless faith. And to be honest, I imagined that you were of the same opinion - I don't agree with the implicit arguments shown in your last words during your goodbye. Should I be resigned to the fact that I can't live together with the person who's the most rare to me. Should I then, after everything you provoked me to believe and to value - to not feed my fears but use it to grown and strengthen - simply forget what I really am and believe?! No, I'm not willing to incline down my head and be resigned, regarding anything, especially regarding you.  
  
My feelings, I'll leave them right where they are, I don't think it's necessary to analyze it, comment it or relive it.  
  
I am here just to end my journal, the journal that at the beginning of the school year you insisted that I keep. I don't see why I should keep it, not without you to encourage me, correct me and help me...   
  
Today I woke up and decided that I was going to look for you. I thought in many ways to try to find you, to talk to you. I thought that maybe it would be better if I just write to you. What other way could we communicate to each other but this?! So, here I am then. I intend to leave this letter in your house. How, I don't have any idea yet, but I think it can't hurt to let it fall down in your post mailbox, just like that... I know that it's a big risk I am taking because maybe you wouldn't read it, but if you've come to this line already, nothing else could stop you from finishing this letter (neither do I).  
  
Mr. Dimitri - you know what? I am going to give myself the right to call you August. Yesterday, after I got home from the meeting with the principal, I read the story you told me to read... "On Love" by Chekhov, without any question, says everything I'm feeling right now. I cried from the moment he sees himself falling in love until the end of the story. I think it's because it's such a beautiful story and maybe because I would love to be gifted with that kind of resignation which you seemed to have. Maybe this is my most needed necessity. The guilt may be my "youth" but whatever is, I never could be happy without trying.  
  
Today, after our undesired farewell, after a night of thinking and trying to make sense of.I won't cry. These last months, I had such incredible and happy days and that's why, whatever happens in my life in the future, I won't be able to say that I didn't enjoy the purest happiness in life.  
  
Years from now I'll never think about the past with sadness, I'll never insist on imagining everything in a different way, I won't think "how it could have been...", it's only because that what I lived, was started from spending these past few months knowing an incredible teacher whom I would love to call, at least: "My friend".  
  
But for now something inside me still tells me that it wasn't enough, that much more could have been. And those moments that I keep with me, they are mine, nobody can take that away from me. Nobody! And that's what is important to me, that's enough. It's something I will have to remember for the rest of my life. For me, this little bit of you I had is everything. After all, as you like to say, everything means "something".  
  
You made me express what I want and what I need through my writing, through my stories - whether I had the end figured out or not... You believed in me from the start and that's why I am here, to say that I believe in you too. I always did.  
  
I want to say thank you. You can't imagine how much you helped me and how much I am grateful to you for that.  
  
I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you know the importance of your presence in my life, as much as your absence will torment me. I might seem naive, after all, you went away yesterday, but the eternity between yesterday and today makes me see the eternity between today and tomorrow with you gone.  
  
I'll be thinking about you. Imagining and wondering about your future words in your future poems, in your future stories, preparing for all the others that will come.  
  
Thank you not for the time you spent in my life, but for keeping with me, for remaining in my life.  
  
I am not going to say "Goodbye" but I am going to say: "See you soon!" I am sure of that!!!  
  
Love always,  
  
  
  
Grace 


	2. Letter 2

Something to Remember  
  
Author: Grazi (feedback - please) Note: A huge thanks to Grace_Dimitri_fan (at: http://www.geocities.com/lorbooks), if it wasn't for her this letter would not be finished.  
  
Letter 2 - "A Short Story"  
  
Grace, my reply to you is a short story that reminds me of you, the kind of story that you should be reading because it is similar to your writing. Take it as if it was yours and understand it as if you were the one who wrote it. As I said before, it's really important that you start to read as a writer. This is my gift to you...  
  
= = = = = = = =  
  
"And who's going to say that there's a reason for the things done by the heart..."  
  
He never understood, never forgave her for giving up.  
  
Kat was a kind and sweet only child. She loved life and dedicated herself to the people she loved. For the first 20 years only her parents, and then for the next 2 years, Mark.   
  
Mark, a lawyer on the rise, was waiting for a good job opportunity that would allow him to marry Kat. When they least expected it, the opportunity came. A big law firm from another state offered Mark a junior partnership and the acceptance of this proposal would provide him a nice life without financial worries.  
  
When he looked for Kat to tell her the good news, he didn't notice the tears in her eyes. His thoughts were dominated by his professional happiness. He, certain of his decision and trusting in his feelings, didn't notice the anguish and despair on her face.  
  
Then when the feelings of Kat were finally visible, he sat down and stared at her, hoping that she would give him an explanation. She told him about the events of the previous night: the terrible illness that took possession of her father. She demonstrated happiness at the possibility of being married to him without a delay. But it was necessary that they postpone it a little until she could feel secure and tranquil regarding her father's health, because only then, knowing that she would be with her family when they most needed her, would she be able to enjoy real happiness.  
  
Mark, proud as he was, didn't understand her. He was an orphan who never saw himself attached to anyone, except to Kat, since the first day he met her. He knew that he wanted her and he would never be able to postpone this love, so that's why such behavior was unacceptable. He only could think about his own unhappiness that this moment reflected in himself and without hesitation, he gave Kat an ultimatum: Marry him now and enjoy all the things that would come with this union, or say "Goodbye".  
  
Kat, captive to the incomprehension that the ultimatum caused her, said nothing, but cried. Mark stood up and left without even looking back.  
  
In the silence of that night, he closed his eyes and imagined if all the unhappiness that he was feeling would pursue him for the rest of his life. He wanted to come back to Kat but he convinced himself that everything that seems to represent the happiness of the man, always ended in his ruin. In the silence of his own words, he felt happy being on his own.   
  
He accepted the job and went away, alone. He felt good and happy for leaving.  
  
  
  
Days went by. The days turned to months and the months to years.  
  
Mark never came back, never looked for Kat. In all of those years he was dedicated only to his work, but he kept being reminded of her smile and the dreams that he used to taste when she was around. The emotion that he felt was extraordinary, but the life of both of them now was how it was destined for them: to be apart.  
  
All the things that he wished he could stop thinking, he was able to do. But lately, the bitter doubt of Kat's true feelings keep consuming him. It was all he could think about. He felt that he should look for her.  
  
After 10 years, she would probably be married but he needed to see her just one more time.   
  
Mark knew that Kat and her family had moved to a coastal city looking for a better and ideal climate for her father's recovery. He found out a nurse who had once worked for them but because of a family issue, she had to leave the job. It was 3 years ago and Kat's family still lived in the same place since then.  
  
The front of the house already made Mark remember Kat - how much of her personality was in those colors, in the garden and in the entrance. He felt his heart jumping with such an intensity that he almost ran inside when the servant opened the door. While he was waiting in the vestibule, he was announced. He was received by Kat's mom and notice her surprised expression at seeing him.  
  
Before Mark could ask to see Kat, her mom excused herself for a minute and left the room. At that moment Mark felt anxiety and humility. All he wanted was to see her again and ask her to forgive him. He heard the steps coming and then Kat's mom reappeared. She was holding an envelope and with a calm smile she said: "Kat died last year. She dedicated herself to taking care of me and her father until the end. She had a peaceful death. She knew that you would come, whether late or not." She gave him the envelope and left the room, closing the door to the other room.  
  
With his tears hidden between the sadness and the regret, the anguish and the anxiety, Mark, with his trembling hands, opened the envelope and find a little note that said:  
  
"I was waiting for you!  
  
Even though we have horizons between us, I feel your presence.  
  
Even though our air is not the same, I can't find myself desolate because I know that there isn't an explanation for love.  
  
My only refuge is those moments that we were together. They wake up my imagination: I imagine your face, your voice and your way and I keep in myself the hope that one day we'll find each other again in a kiss.  
  
Even though we are apart, I can be happy because distant are our bodies, our faces, our lips.... But never our hearts!  
  
I love you, my love!  
  
Kat  
  
===================  
  
Mark couldn't keep his tears from falling on his face anymore. After a long reflective moment, he found in himself some strength to stand up. He walked cautiously toward the door, stopped, and he smiled. How much he loved her. Kat's goodness saw who he really was and what he really felt. Yes, they lived apart for all those years when everything could have been different. But, if it wasn't for her self-sacrifice and constancy, maybe he would never have respected, admired and loved her so much as he did now. And with a last sigh before he went away, he said to himself: "Our hearts won't be apart."  
  
And who's to say there's a reason for the things done by the heart...  
  
And who's to say that there is no reason...  
  
Grace, keep writing. Your incredible talent is an inspiration!!!   
  
Love always, August 


End file.
